Monster
by InuyanaIris
Summary: Silver's been blind since the age of five, the causes of it remain a mystery which includes the last thing she saw. A man turning into a wolf. Ever since then she's been obsessed with wolves, always checking up on the latest lore while her baby sister is at school. Then she meets Luke Garroway and her life changes for the better. LukeXOC! Rated M for sex, violence, language!
1. Chapter 1

**I OWN NOTHING! ALL RIGHTS RESERVED TO CASSANDRA CLARE!  
**

**A/N: Hello! First off I want to thank my lovely and dear friend InuyashaRules6596 for helping me name this fic and for also telling me it indeed was worth publishing on here. I hope you all enjoy it as much as she and I do! Love you all! ~ Iris**

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_Monster Chapter 1:_

It was hard to say what I was thinking that night. My parents were fighting again and for some reason I felt this sudden urge to run into the woods surrounding our two bedroom vacation house. At five years of age I had yet figured out that these urges to do things suddenly were not good. Evidently this urge had me, at five years old, running into the dark depths of the forest.

Eventually I got lost and dropped to my knees, sobbing in anguish and misery. Then out of the corner of my eye I saw the tall figure of a man lurking in a thicket of trees. I turned completely towards him and froze in awe as this man undressed, dropping his clothes neatly into a pile. Suddenly before my eyes he morphed into a grayish-brown wolf. His eyes met mine and he delicately lopped over to me, staring intently at me. I wasn't afraid of him, he was just beautiful. The wolf nudged at me with his nose then started growling.

All too suddenly the world was dark, but not from unconsciousness. Instead my eyes ceased working, enveloping me into a darkness that no amount of money or doctors could fix. The wolf-man was the last thing I ever saw, which unfortunately started my obsession with wolf-men...

17 years later:

Emma was clutching my hand excitedly as she yet again sang 'Hakuna Matata' from the Lion King as we walked down a bustling street. "Hmmm... Sissy? Do I have to go to school? I don't like school cause I'm not with you." She huffed, suddenly stopping in the middle of the side walk. People pushed past us, jostling us as they hurried to their own destinations.

"Emma I've told you already, yes you have to go to school and I have to go to work ok? Now come on if we don't hurry we might be late." I fixed my sunglasses on my nose before grasping her hand tighter. As I flexed my hand, however, she bolted. I heard the screech of brakes and a car horn blaring which quickly had me running in the direction of the street. Emma must have seen something that interested her, or else she wouldn't have dashed off. Once on the other side of the street I listened carefully for her, until I heard her eager squeals of excitement.

"Sissy! Sissy, monkey books!" She came running up to me, grabbing my hand and pulling me in the direction of the alleged monkey books. This brought us into what smelled like an old book store. Somehow, though, underneath the smell of books I caught a hint of pine and woods. Emma guided me around the store until we stood in an aisle of what felt like bookshelves. I listened as she counted how many books they had that she wanted, then smiled when she shoved two under my fingers. "These two!" She giggled and took the books from me almost as fast as she had given them to me. I followed her as she walked back to the front of the store then stood next to her as she reached up to put the books on the counter. There were footsteps off to the right side of me as someone got behind the counter.

"Found everything okay?" A distinctly male voice said, speaking to Emma instead of me.

"Uh-huh!" She giggled. "I like monkey books." She conspiratorially whispered to the man before tugging on my hand.

"Oh I see." He laughed and then addressed me. "That'll be $25.68." I nodded before fumbling with my wallet, taking out a crumpled $20 bill, then a triangularly folded $5 bill, and finally a dollar bill folded in half. Emma took the money from me and handed it to the man. "Your daughter is really cute." He said, directing the comment at me.

"She's my little sister." I sighed and held out my hand for the change. Cold coins clanked into my hand, which I handed to Emma since she loved collecting change.

"Sorry. Just thought she was since..." He broke off, clearing his throat.

"Since I'm obviously too old to be her sister, and she's young enough to be my daughter? It's ok. She's indeed 6 and a half years old, and I'm old enough to be her mother."

"You're not old." He said quickly, practically snapping at me. "You're probably like... 26 right? Not old."

"I'm 22." I grumbled and felt around for Emma's hand. The need to get out of this place was enough for me to start panicking.

"You're blind!" He gasped, startling me.

"Yes I am!" I snarled, tugging on Emma's hand hard enough for her to whimper.

"Oh I'm sorry I just didn't notice. Umm... I'm Luke by the way."

"Sissy's name is Silver and I'm Emma!" Emma cooed, jumping excitedly.

"Nice to meet you Emma and Silver." He chuckled. My face was getting hot with both embarrassment and the desperate need to leave this store. "Thank you for coming, please stop by again." Emma giggled and pulled me to the door. My palms were sweating from the aggravation of talking with the man, Luke. Something about him screamed with familiarity even though I could swear I never met him before this.

This frustrated me since I never forgot anything or anyone. I could name off almost everyone I've met since I was seven years old. Of course this feeling could just be a vague familiarity with someone else I had met years ago. Never the less it bothered me and continued to bother me even after I had walked Emma all the way to school and then to work. Even though I didn't want to dwell on the situation I still did, unable to get over it.

The man had certainly made an impression on me, whether I had intended him to or not. Obviously I would have to see him again so I could ask if I knew him or not. This wouldn't be outright because I didn't want to be so bold even if in my mind the situation called for boldness. I would definitely not make a fool of myself no matter what.


	2. Chapter 2

**I OWN NOTHING! ALL RIGHTS RESERVED TO CASSANDRA CLARE!**

**A/N: Hello and welcome to chapter 2 of Monster! First and foremost I would like to thank my dear friend InuyashaRules6596 for her help with reading over this story in its first and last drafts. And now I would like to thank you all for coming and reading this second chapter! Love you all! ~ Iris**

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_Monster Chapter 2:_

For the third day in a row I found myself in Luke's bookstore waiting for Emma to finish picking out children's books. Each day she would get me up way before my alarm went off with a new book request. Ducks were today's favorite. I stood off to the side skimming my fingertips over the spines of the books, finding odd satisfaction that most of them were rigid underneath my fingers so I knew what books I was touching. A smile played on my lips as I skimmed my fingers along the spines of the books, taking in all of the familiar titles, from Frankenstein to A Brave New World.

Someone came up behind me and picked up one of the books. "Find anything you like?" I flinched away from Luke, embarrassed.

"Yea I guess. Not like I can read any of it." I sighed and tapped my fingers against the side of my face.

"I could order books in brail, if you're interested." He said, his voice hinting at a more innocent quality that normally wasn't there when he talked. Brail books were something I had when I was in school, but they were too expensive for me to afford on my own. I had Emma to think about so I couldn't spend my money on frivolous things such as brail books.

"That would be great but I don't know if I could afford it." I was being honest with him, just so he was aware that I wasn't going to have him do something that he would make no profit on. "Anyway is Emma done yet?"

"Yea almost." He muttered and I heard his heavy footfalls retreat away from where I stood. With a sigh I put down the book that I was holding and spun around on my heel. I heard the little pattering of feet off to my right and turned my head that way, stepping forward, only to smack into a bookshelf. With an oof I fell backwards, evidently into yet another bookshelf. Someone grabbed me and yanked me from among the stacks. With a yelp I smacked my arm out, hitting something hard. "Hey! Calm down. It's just me. Are you alright?" My head was spinning and I fell back heavily against Luke.

"My head just hurts..." I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Nothing too awful." He pulled away from me and patted my shoulder.

"Alright. You sure you're okay? Nothing broken?" I just nodded and fumbled over to the counter, running my fingers along the edge of the wood. My heart was pounding as the blood roared in my ears. I just knew that my face was burning even before I pressed my fingers into my cheeks. How could I have been so clumsy? Of course I'd let my guard down for one moment and nearly trashed the place! Why hadn't I thought to take out my guide cane to help me around this place? It was probably because of the fact that I thought I knew the place fairly well since I was in here every morning or afternoon with Emma as she picked out her children's books.

A hand came down on my shoulder roughly and I flinched away, taking my collapsible guide cane out of my pocket. As I flicked it downward I heard it click into place, which was a relief as it could be used as a weapon if needed. I wouldn't be able to wield it as well as Ben Affleck did in the movie Daredevil but I was also not an actor pretending to be a blind man, I was a blind woman. Luke's voice drifted to the front of the store in a greeting way. He was speaking to a woman.

"Jocelyn it's so great to see you!" Luke exclaimed, Emma pulled on the bottom of my skirt and I tilted my head down to her. Luke and the woman, Jocelyn, walked off towards the back to continue a private conversation. Emma pulled on the hem of my skirt harder, making whimpering sounds.

"Sissy your face is all red. You okay? Want a lollipop? I have some in my backpack!" She giggled excitedly and before I knew it I had a strawberry flavored lollipop in my mouth. "Luke said he'd be back in a sec after he talked to his friend. She's really pretty sissy! Not like you. You're pretty too sissy but not like her." Wow, this kid sure knew how to make me feel great about myself. Of course I already knew I was pretty ordinary looking except for my eyes which were the color of moonlight. My hair was black which contrasted starkly with my overly pale complexion. Or at least that's what people have told me. It seemed everyone just loved to remind me how mismatched I looked, or odd, and even sometimes ordinary and washed out. Because of this I never felt confident in myself. Sure I put on a little bit of a harsh tone and analyzed everyone but that was only because everyone was always analyzing and judging me. How could it be helped though?

Luke came back shortly and rang up Emma's books. "Are you losing interest Emma? This time you only spent $10.67." He chuckled and I handed him a folded ten, two triangularly folded ones, and a crumpled up five. Our hands grazed each others and my face flamed up once again. He cleared his throat and pressed my change into my hand. "$6.33 is your change." He whispered and I handed the money to Emma for her to put in my purse. I could sense Luke's eyes on me and I looked up in his general direction. Clumsily I said goodbye and took Emma's hand. He mumbled a reply and I heard the unmistakable sound of him tapping his foot heavily on the floor.

Quickly I retreated out of the store with Emma, walking the twelve blocks to the bus station so we could head home. Luke was probably getting sick of seeing us every day. More so now than ever since I nearly went all Godzilla on his store. I still hadn't gotten up the nerve to ask him if we'd met before since I couldn't find the right time to ask. He only really ever talked to Emma, probably because she wasn't as cold or distant as I was. Maybe I'd have her ask him.

But then again she might suggest something completely out there. Or worse, suggest that I liked Luke more than I let on. Children, especially Emma, were funny that way. Until later in life they don't learn to filter what they say so everything is a constant jabber of what they are thinking about. Which described Emma's conversations with Luke perfectly. Their conversations centered around Emma's constant mind jabber.

The bus ride home was uneventful, as was the walk to our apartment. Emma and I lived on the first floor of an old home it was remodeled while the previous owners loved there which was nice, and it was easy to navigate for me which was a plus. It had four bedrooms, a bathroom with a sit/stand shower, a hall closet, a dinning/kitchen room with low cabinets for me to easily reach, and a living room that attached to a very small sitting room. The sitting room was about 48 feet across and 24 feet on the width end. It had a ledge big enough for me to sit in the bay window and enjoy the sun from the safety of my own home. Emma loved to climb up there with me and 'read' her books which consisted of her own version of what was happening.

As we walked into the part that was our apartment the phone started ringing, chiming in that it was 'Silver's Cellphone' in a monotone woman's voice. I frowned and picked up the cordless phone, answering it. "Hello?"

"You left your phone here." Said a gruff male voice who was obviously Luke. "Took me a little to find it when it started ringing. Your doctor called to confirm your eye exam tomorrow." My cheeks flamed and I cleared my throat several times before answering.

"Oh. I see. Thank you very much; I'll come get it tomorrow when Emma and I stop by." Luke was silent on the other end for all of thirty seconds.

"Could you come get it now? I don't really want to be responsible for your phone." He sighed and I heard a girlish laugh in the background.

"Oh umm... Yes I'll come get it right now. Just give me... About twenty minutes." I sighed and listened carefully for his reply.

"Sure." Was all I got before he hung up. This was wholly inconvenient. I could understand him not wanting to have responsibility if my phone were to break. But never the less it was still a hassle to expect me to come all the way back to his store.


	3. Chapter 3

**I OWN NOTHING! ALL RIGHTS RESERVED TO CASSANDRA CLARE!**

**A/N: Hello all! I am right now on a slight roll with this story which is great news! As always thank you to InuyashaRules6596 for reading this over for me! Two bands that I really like are mentioned in this chapter, if you haven't listened to them before please do! Especially listen to "Of The Night" by Bastille and "Miss Murder" By AFI. As always I love you all and can't wait to hear what you have to say about this chapter! Keep sending me your love! ~ Iris**

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_Monster Chapter 3:_

The two subway cars it took me to get back to the bookstore set me back by about fifteen minutes, but I felt better on the subway with the screeching and rattling of the train car than I did sitting on a bus. Besides there wasn't anything to see on a train ride so I didn't have to pretend to be looking out at something. I could just sit with my jacket's hood pulled down over my face and relax. No one rarely dared to bother me when I took the train, which was lovely. This, to me, was not odd at all since I put up a façade of indifference and superiority that was wholly fake as it was laughable.

Finally though I got there. But the door to the shop was locked. Cursing I banged on the door until my hand hurt. "Hey! Silver over here." A voice shouted and I walked in that direction. "Sorry about this I wouldn't have called you out here this late but you know I figured having your phone would be important." I extended my hand out to him and sighed.

"Yeah thanks. It is kind of important..." Was my only reply before the phone dropped into my hand. It was still warm from being in his hand which made me smile a little. My phone was probably the second most important thing besides my cane. It housed my entire life.

"It's late, let me drive you home." He took my hand and pulled me towards something, presumably his car.

"No! No that's okay. My house is a long ways from here so... Please don't go out of your way. It's fine I can take the subway back from here." I pulled away but he grabbed my hand again, this time holding onto me tighter. Why had he called me out here so late when he could have just given me my phone tomorrow? Was he so sure I needed it this badly? I didn't, not really. Not 100%!

"It's dangerous this late at night. And besides I know there's something you've wanted to ask me for a while. Now's your chance right?" He pulled me back over to his car and helped me up into the seat which was higher off the ground. This suggested that he drove a truck instead of a sedan. Continuing to treat me like a child he buckled me into the seat and slammed the door. I knew there was a scowl on my face, my brows knitting together.

The truck smelled strongly of woods, but especially pine. It reminded me so much of the woods I loved so much as a child which sent a calming sensation zinging up and down my spine. Luke got into the truck and soon after it roared to life. I quickly told him my address before turning my head towards the window. When in doubt pretend to look at something. Even though that would probably work out better if I could actually see something. For a while we rode in silence until Luke turned on the radio, then AFI was pulsing from the speakers. I couldn't help but laugh, AFI was something that I normally listened to when I felt a little low with a dash of self-hating. Of course that didn't happen very often, or at least not as often as I cared to admit. "What's so funny Silver?" He asked a hint of a smile in his voice.

"Nothing. Mind changing the station?" I giggled and covered my mouth with my hands.

"This is a CD. I could change it, if you want." He sighed and as suddenly as the music came on it was off, replaced with the upbeat rhythm of Bastille. I settled back in my seat and listened intently. "Better? Good." He tapped his fingers against the steering wheel which agitated me. There was nothing more annoying than someone tapping things, fingers or otherwise, against other things. He kept doing it, which angered me even more. I started fidgeting in my seat, hoping he would stop soon. When he didn't I grabbed for his hands to stop him. He pushed me away and I heard the blaring of a car horn. "Fuck! Don't DO that!" He yelled.

"Don't do that. Don't tap your fingers against stuff please!" I cried, clasping my hands over my ears. "It's so annoying I'm sorry!"

"Next time just say that! Dammit Silver you nearly caused me to get into an accident!" He was still yelling which hurt my ears. "God you're so difficult! I don't understand you! What the fuck is your problem anyway?! Do you have some... Underlying issues that have to deal with men?!"

"No! God it's not about you or men or anyone else! I just don't like listening to AFI unless I'm in a shitty mood and I hate it when people tap their stupid fingers against stuff! It's annoying and I can't stand it!" I yelled back. Great, now he probably thinks I'm a psycho and a complete control freak. Suddenly the car stopped and his hands were on me. "No don't touch me!" I cried and pushed against his hands. My body suddenly felt numb and I was brought back to the woods. Breathing stops within my lungs and I freeze, the sensations of the memory taking me over. Luke shook me slightly which snapped me out of my haze.

"Are you okay? Silver!" I breathed out and opened my eyes. Of course the world was still dark, but I didn't care. Tears spilled over from my eyes and ran down my cheeks. They were hot and wet which irritated me. Luke unbuckled me and pulled me close. "Hey what's wrong? I'm sorry that I yelled okay? Hey come on... Calm down. Please Silver talk to me." He whispered and stroked my hair. My breath hitched and I hiccupped. He was touching me... And his touch screamed familiarity.

"Where do I know you from?" I whispered, unable to stop myself.

"We've never met before." He sighed and pulled away from me after buckling me back in.

"Oh..." Was my only reply.


	4. Chapter 4

**I OWN NOTHING! ALL RIGHTS RESERVED TO CASSANDRA CLARE!**

**A/N: Woo-hoo! Chapter 4 is finally done. Ok so I tried my hardest to make this one longer, and even left it with a little cliff hanger! Haha yes! A little inspiration came from the song Don't Trust Me by 30H3 and also Monster by Imagine Dragons. Go give those songs a listen. As always please review and favorite the story (also me if you like my style of writing). Love you all! ~ Iris **

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_Monster Chapter 4: _

**Luke's POV: **

Her hair was black and slightly wavy with a little curl to the ends, and it went down just below her ass. She always wore it either loosely hanging around her shoulders or pulled back in a ponytail at the crown of her head. Her eyes were the color or moonlight, that white color with a subtle hinting of crystal blue. Her features were delicate and proportional, like an elf's, with full light pink lips and a dainty nose. She was pale, but like porcelain with a slight hinting of snow colored accents. Silver was beautiful and stood at 5 ft. 4, the perfect height. Very proportional to me.

The way she cried made my heart ache and I just wanted nothing more than to kiss those tears away, but I didn't. I held myself back so as not to scare her away. This girl was dangerous; she was sweet, loving to her baby sister, but dangerous to me. I knew her, and I knew she remembered me in some way shape or form. She was a little girl and I was just starting to come to terms with what happened to me and what I became. Her hair had been braided into two pigtails and her green eyes sparkled as she looked upon me transforming. Then, as soon as I walked towards her in all of my wolfyness, her eyes changed color and she screamed. I had been frightened and jumped away from her as if she physically smacked me. Soon after a man and woman came running over. I hid in a thicket of trees and watched as the couple picked her up, the father more concerned than the mother. She had been glaring into the distance, straight at where I was hiding.

But now I was older and she was older. I was dropping her off at an old house in Brooklyn. It was charming and Emma was sitting on the steps with an older woman, playing cards. I got out and helped Silver down, taking an extra moment to hold her close before releasing her. Emma squealed and ran over to us, her card game and her caretaker forgotten momentarily. She was out of breath and giggling excitedly. "Hi Luke! Hi sissy!" She squealed and threw her arms around my right leg. "You staying for dinner Luke? Sissy is making pasta! Stay stay!"

"Well... Yeah okay I'll stay. If it's alright with Silver." I smiled and glanced over at Silver who was staring straight ahead, her eyes wide open but unseeing.

"If you must." She grumbled and walked up the steps, stumbling only a little. The woman stood up and went inside the slightly opened door, leaving us all alone. As I followed Silver and Emma inside I heard the 'click' of a door close up the large flight of stairs, presumably to the second floor of this home that must be another apartment. Emma ran ahead of us, opening up a door at the end of the shared foyer. Silver and I followed, walking into a kitchen/dining room. Emma boldly walked up to a black and white cat shaped cookie jar and got out two sugar cookies. She offered me one and then ate the other. Silver walked over to the fridge and opened it, her hand extended out and skimming over each of the containers. She pulled out three, one with broccoli, and another with what appeared to be cubed meat, and another with rice.

Emma squealed excitedly and bounced up and down, chanting 'stir fry! Stir fry! Stir fry!' over and over again. Then she quickly stopped when Silver looked over in her direction, soon after taking a seat at the table. "Come sit and color with me Luke!" She giggled, holding out a coloring book for me. I didn't really want to color but then again I didn't want to make Emma upset either. So I sat down with her and colored a picture of a wolf, how ironic. Emma gave me a long lecture about coloring inside the lines even though she was boldly scribbling furiously all over a picture of a tiger and monkey. Her face had this attentive yet demanding look about it, as if she were commanding the picture to obey her and accept that she was going to scribble all over it to the point where you wouldn't be able to tell what the original picture was. And she was succeeding! Emma glanced at my coloring page and giggled excitedly. "You're doing it wrong!" She laughed and jerked my hand around until jagged lines were all over my beautiful picture of a wolf. I glanced up at Silver who was tipping over the container of meat into the stir fry pan. Watching her was fascinating. Even with her disability she was able to cook as if nothing was wrong.

Must have been from years of practice or something of the sorts. As if she felt her eyes on me she glanced up and frowned. "Everything okay over there?" She asked tentatively to no one in particular it seemed.

"Yes. Emma just ruined my beautiful wolf picture with scribbles." I grumbled, feigning anger. In reality I was very happy, the happiest I'd ever been before. Being around these two sisters was definitely very entertaining and definitely very fun. Emma was still furiously coloring before suddenly dropping the crayons and jumped up.

"I have to go potty!" She announced before running down the hall. I heard the door slam shut and laughed quietly to myself. Then I turned my head and watched Silver cook. She got down plates from one of the cabinets, and then put food on each plate before setting them down on the counter.

"Can you help me with these?" She asked, tilting her head to the side seductively.

"Uh-huh..." I got up and took the plates from the counter, placing them in front of three of the five chairs that were pulled up to the table. Silver gave me three sets of forks and spoons and I put them down next to each plate. Emma came rushing back out from the bathroom and took her seat, looking up at Silver and I expectantly. Silver sat down, taking the seat next to Emma. I took the one on the other side of Emma and picked up my fork.

The food tasted really good, with chunks of beef and lots of rice. Silver had used ginger powder along with garlic and salt which was a very interesting combination that surprisingly tasted very good. But, really, why should I be surprised? Silver seemed to be coping with her disability very well, with only a little outward bitterness.

After we all finished eating I cleared the table, getting a scowl from Silver. It was weird how she seemed to know it was me even though she couldn't see. I put the dishes in the sink and rinsed them quickly. Emma ran off down the hall again, a door slamming shut. Silver stood up and hesitantly walked forward with her hand half extended out. I turned away but jumped when I felt her hand touch the small of my back. She let out a sigh and pulled away. "You can leave now." She muttered before turning away. "Please go." I looked at the back of her head and blinked, fixing my glasses on top of my nose.

"Yea sure..." I sighed. Taking one last look at her I frowned. She had her hands wrapped around a bottle of water and her back was still turned away from me. Before she could react I wrapped my arms around her waist and kissed her cheek lightly. "Thank you for dinner, it was really good. See you tomorrow, same time as always?" I joked, smiling to myself.

"You'll probably see Emma, yes, but maybe not me." She huffed and turned towards me only to push me away. "Don't touch me like that ever again."

"Sorry sorry." I laughed and then froze. Then suddenly everything was dark.

When I came to I saw that Silver was on the floor screaming, but I was on top of her. She screamed louder and I quickly got off of her. I had no idea what had happened. With one final glance at Silver I ran out of there, slamming the front door as I left. I could still hear Silver screaming from inside and didn't stop hearing her until I was well on my way home.


	5. Chapter 5

**I OWN NOTHING! ALL RIGHTS RESERVED TO CASSANDRA CLARE!  
**

**A/N: Hi all! So this is the longest chapter I've ever written (at least that I can remember right now!) so I hope you enjoy! This does have a little fluff in it so I hope you enjoy! Love you all! ~ Iris **

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Monster Chapter 5:

Silver's POV:

Before I knew it Luke had me pinned to the ground. I screamed and punched him. "Luke get off of me!" I cried and kicked at him. "Get off get off!" I screamed. His hands fondled my breasts and I screamed louder. A snarl made its way past his lips and I froze, terrified. I didn't know what was going to happen to me, but maybe if I stayed perfectly still he would stop. A hand tangled in my hair and pulled tightly. Yet another cry was heard from my lips and I didn't stop until that hand was gone, trailing its way down my body. I heard the ripping of fabric and then the cold air was caressing my legs. My body started trembling and I couldn't control myself any longer. I screamed and cried louder and louder.

Luke got off of me after a while, continually saying that he was sorry. But I couldn't stop screaming and I couldn't stop crying. His retreating footsteps thundered in my ears and I continually screamed. And I didn't stop screaming until my voice just wouldn't work anymore. Even then I still wanted to continually scream and cry. Emma, surprisingly, didn't come out to see what was wrong. And I didn't give her the time to, I stumbled out into the hallway where either Mister or Misses Jones was locking the front door. Before they could say anything I turned and went back into my apartment, closing and locking the door.

My breathing hitched as I started hiccuping. I seemed to be doing that a lot lately, ever since Luke started becoming a 'big' part of my life. Luke... What had come over him? He normally was sweet and kind, very gentle. Especially with Emma. But for him to just attack me like that... There was no explanation for it.

Right now, however, I had to stop thinking about it because all it was doing was making me crazy. Yet at the same time I didn't want to forget about it, or stop thinking of what happened. In a way it made me feel... Sexy and alive. Of course I was frightened but it was thrilling at the same time. Maybe I just liked being treated roughly, even if a part of me knew it was so wrong.

With a shake of my head I wandered off to my room. After shedding off my shredded clothing I got into bed and pulled on a t-shirt that had been lying carelessly on the edge of my bed. Feeling around I threw what appeared to be pants onto the floor, not really wanting to wear something that was so constricting. My body was screaming at me to stop moving around as I snuggled into the warm bed, having been hurt from the fall to the floor earlier. If I could see myself I would bet that I had a bunch of bruises all over my back, behind, legs, and arms which would be a pain to explain to Emma in the morning if she saw them. I'd have to be extra careful picking out clothing for tomorrow, thinking of a nice Victorian style dress that I had which featured a high collar and long sleeves. It was loose enough that I'd be able to not feel constricted but at the same time covered all of the areas of my body that might be a problem.

I'd have to explain to Emma why we wouldn't be visiting Luke's store for a while, or at least why she'd not be coming with me if I decided to go talk to him. Good thing she didn't have school tomorrow or it would be extra hard to accomplish this. I'd just leave her with Mrs. Remin upstairs for the day, yet again, so I could go talk to Luke alone. Of course I wouldn't explain to Mrs. Remin WHY I wanted to talk to some man I barely knew, and who had hurt me, alone. But she would probably approve of me not bringing along Emma to visit with a man who had a violent outburst in my home. Sleepiness started washing over me and I welcomed it with open arms, ready to wake up to a new day.

The next day I dressed in the dress I had been thinking of the prier night and got Emma her bowel of Frosted Flakes while she watched re-runs of Winx Club, cringing at the horrible use of dialogue and plot in the story. With Emma placated for at least a little bit I carefully walked upstairs to the second apartment the Remin's lived in, quickly explaining to Mr. Remin that I needed his wife to watch Emma while I ran errands uptown. He said of course and sent me down with Mrs. Remin, who silently went into my apartment to take care of Emma. With that out of the way I caught the train that went up to 56th street, silently listening to Blue October or Paramore, depending on what came onto my iPod first. The ride was uneventful and I was again undisturbed by the fellow passengers. My walk to his book store was quick, and thankfully he was open at 8 in the morning. He started to greet me and then stopped, seemingly chocking on his hello. Soon after I heard his footsteps near and a firm hand on my shoulder. "Silver." Was the only thing he said before walking past me and locking the door. I stood unmoving in my spot, tilting my head to the side. Then again his hand was on my shoulder as he steered me towards the back of the shop, my feet moving without me having to tell them to. We walked straight back and into what felt like a small apartment or home in the back of the shop. Luke let go of me after steering me over to a chair that I could sit in. "Silver I… I umm… I'm sorry about last night. I really don't know what came over me I swear." He sighed and I heard the clattering of what sounded like plates. "Are you ugh… Are you hungry? It's early, want me to make you something? I can talk and cook at the same time."

"Yes that would be great, I didn't get to eat before I left earlier. Whatever you can make is fine, I'm not really picky. As long as it smells good and doesn't taste too awful I'll eat it. And of course presentation isn't an issue as long as it's on a plate or whatever, since I won't be able to see anything fancy that you may do to the food." I laughed, trying to be light hearted. Already I could tell that he was worried and nervous with me being here, which was understandable considering what had happened last night.

"Oh yeah. Okay umm… Pancakes. I'll make pancakes." He muttered more to himself than to me as yet again I heard the clattering of plates and most likely pans. The place smelled exactly like him, which wasn't so surprising. I felt oddly at ease being here despite what had happened yesterday. Somehow I knew that what happened last night was just a fluke thing and probably would never happen again. When he was done cooking the house smelled of strawberries and pancake mix, making my stomach growl. He came over and took my hand in his, guiding me over to a table. "Here." He muttered and I sat down, smiling a little to myself. Placing my fingers gently on the table I felt around for a fork and then for the plate, blushing a little. This always embarrassed me when I did this with people that weren't Emma, since most of the time they didn't understand that I couldn't see. Once when I was out with a few of the neighbors, most of which didn't know I was blind, they had made rude comments about me feeling around for the food saying it was very disgusting for me to be touching everything. When I explained why I was doing it they shut up and we all ate our meal in silence. But Luke didn't make any comments, just helped guide my hand over the plate and telling me where everything was. "I'm sorry about last night." He finally said after sitting down to my left.

"It's… It was unexpected but I… I forgive you okay? So stop beating yourself up over it. I know it wasn't… Well it wasn't you." I sighed and started eating my pancakes, savoring the taste of not only strawberries but chocolate as well. "These are really good."

"Thanks. And well what do you mean you forgive me? I did an awful thing, I hurt you." He protested and I heard the sound of him dropping his fork onto his plate which made me flinch a little.

"I forgive you. That's all okay? Just let it go. You know in truth when I actually got to think about it I found it… Exciting. Which is odd right? I mean it's really odd that I enjoyed that. It just shocked me at first and of course my first reaction was to scream and fight. But… Well after you left I thought about it and at first I was really upset but then after I found that it thrilled me in some way to be…" I blushed and turned my head away from him.

"So you found me jumping you and shredding your clothes exciting? Are you… Into stuff like that?" I could tell he was trying not to laugh, but there was an undertone of disbelief in his voice.

"I wouldn't know what I like honestly, I've never had a real physical relationship before with anyone. It really wouldn't surprise me if I was into things that were a bit odd, however." I laughed and rested my head on my hands. "So don't worry okay?"

"Yeah… Yeah okay. But you know I'm still very sorry, I didn't mean to force myself on you or scare you like that. I don't know what came over me." He sighed and I heard him get up from the table. Before I knew it I was being lifted up and out of my chair, which made me yelp in surprise. The one thing I hated about my disability was how vulnerable it made me feel. If I had been a 'normal' individual things like this would never happen. I squirmed a little in his arms and then blinked in confusion. "Don't worry." He muttered and turned me around so I must have been facing him now. Before I knew it his lips were pressed against my own and in my shock I gasped, his tongue slipping into my mouth. I moaned softly and pulled my head away, gasping and then closing my mouth quickly. "Silver, don't reject me." He growled, his voice not sounding like it normally did. Again his lips were on mine and I blushed, feeling his tongue tracing the shape of my lips with his tongue. I refused to open my mouth this time, however, and turned my head away from him. Squealing loudly I squirmed around, feeling his tongue on my jaw.

"N-no! No please t-that tickles!" I cried and giggled. He stopped and put me down on the floor with my legs tucked underneath my body. I was shaking, but not from fear. It shocked me how much this excited me, especially since I couldn't see what he would do next. He helped me up, grasping my hands in his. He pulled me close to him and tilted my head up putting his lips to mine again. "Luke wait…"

"Wait? Why? Why is it such a huge problem if I want to kiss you? Do you not like me because I thought you did." He huffed and forcefully kissed me, shoving his tongue into my mouth again. I let him, succumbing to it. It felt really really good, and of course I didn't want to fight him anymore. But then again I barely knew him, but is that such a bad thing?


	6. Chapter 6

**I OWN NOTHING! ALL RIGHTS RESERVED TO CASSANDRA CLARE!**

**A/N: Hi all! So here's chapter 6 of Monster which took me a little to write, but I hope you enjoy it! Remember to review, favorite, and follow this story! I really really love reviews so PLEASE review so I know what you guys like and or dislike about this story! And please be specific about why or why not as well. Thank you! Love you all! ~ Iris **

Monster Chapter 6:

Luke's POV:

After our little make out session Silver went home and momentarily I was fine with what had happened. But again I had lost control, even though it was just a little, and forced myself on her. Even though she liked it, which made me at least for the moment a little less worried. But I couldn't keep succumbing to my instincts like I seemed to be doing around her. Maybe I would have to go and consult Magnus about this, since I didn't want it to turn into a bigger issue than it already was. Silver was troublesome, I had known it the first time I had met her. Any little girl who didn't run away from a man who changes into a wolf is definitely trouble. It didn't help the fact that she continued with her fascination with wolves, and obviously didn't forget about me.

But I was falling in love with her. From the way she walked to the she put things when she spoke. Every aspect of her hypnotized me and made me want her even more.

I called up Magnus and asked if I could see him, he seemed only a little surprised that I needed to see him, but agreed and told me to come over in two hours. In the meantime I started to do inventory, taking books out of boxes and placing them on empty shelves. I had gotten a bunch of children's books for Emma since she enjoyed them so much. A lot of the books I got were about wolves, and then there were books for Silver. All of them were in brail so that way she could enjoy them without any frustration. Surprisingly enough I had found a seller who was willing to give me the books for a very low price, so I could sell them to Silver at an equally low price. Even though I would probably just give them to her as a gift, which reminded me to ask Emma when Silver's birthday was.

I put the books aside and finished unpacking the rest of the boxes. My phone buzzed and I looked down at it, and then quickly put it up to my ear. "Hello?" I frowned and looked at my phone again. "Jocelyn are you there?"

"Oh, yes I'm here. Magnus called… He said you needed to speak with him about something. I thought we told each other everything Luke. What's going on with you? Ever since you met that girl you've been different. I'm afraid Luke, I'm really worried about you." She said, her voice filled with sorrow and worry. "Please Luke talk to me. First you rejected me, even though we had talked about getting together when Clary was old enough and I was ready to… To move on, but now you're keeping things from me. What's going on with you?" Her voice now sounded strained. I could just see her face right now, etched with worry and the pain she was feeling but with underlying confusion.

"I'm sorry. I really am but I'm just trying to make sense of stuff. Yes I've changed since I met Silver but we've… I've met her before and it's my fault she's blind okay? I'm sorry…" I sighed and scratched the back of my head, looking at my phone. "It's my fault and if I don't do something quick even more trouble is going to follow that girl. Jocelyn that… What we talked about was a while ago and things have changed since then okay? Things have changed, I've changed. I really… I really don't want to talk about this anymore okay? I have to go, doing inventory. Tell Clary I said hi." Quickly I hung up while she was in mid-word, I put the phone down and turned away from the boxes of books and just sat down on a milk crate I used to transport books around. I heard my phone ring again but ignored it, not wanting to talk to Jocelyn any longer. She was indeed my oldest friend, she knew almost everything about me, but she wouldn't understand this. She wouldn't understand why I needed to talk to Magnus about losing control around Silver. If I told her about it she'd maybe freak out and make a bigger deal out of this than it already was.

I shook my head and went out to my car, getting in and starting it up. The truck roared to life and one of my CDs came on but I quickly changed it from that to some random radio station that garbled out some nonsense about the 'worlds problems'.

The drive to Magnus's flat was a mindless endeavor. I parked outside and went up to his apartment, rasping on the door quietly and then harder until he opened the door. Of course I should have known he would have answered in a button up shirt and his boxers it just looked like he rolled out of bed. "Hello there Lucian." He yawned and scratched the back of his head, then turned and went inside. "Well come on. Want something to drink? Yeah you look like you need a drink. Maybe some mango juice, oh wait you're not… Anyway come and sit. Tell old Magnus Bane what the problem is." He poured two glasses of some greenish-blue liquid and then sat down in an overly plush black chair, he offered me one of the glasses and I took it. A very fat cat came wandering into the room and Magnus picked him up, snuggling with him on the chair. "Hello there Chairman, how is my chubby boy?" He cooed and caressed the cats fur. I sat down on one of the long black couches and stared down at my drink. Oh where to begin…

"Well umm… A long time ago, when I had first been turned, I was changing in some woods and there… There was a girl. A little tiny thing with black hair and these green eyes that just seemed to pierce my soul. She was so young, maybe about 5 or something. She was a beautiful tiny thing in a dress. And she saw me, she saw me turn but she wasn't scared. I was amazed! I went over to her and then she started screaming, and her eye color changed from green to this cloudy white-blue color. And she couldn't see me anymore, I knew she couldn't. I thought that I had done something, I mean I was really close to her and I had touched my paw to her face and then she just couldn't see. Maybe I blacked out I can't remember but I ran off. Now I found her again, only she's all grown up. And she's so bitter, it's so sad. But I should have just gone away and left her alone. Only I didn't, and now I'm starting to black out and attack her. I don't want to hurt her any more than I already have. Help. Help me so I cannot hurt her again. I already attacked her, tore her dress up and nearly raped her and I have no idea why." I looked up and saw Magnus staring intently at me with a small smile playing on his lips.

"Oh Luke I understand. Now drink up and let me tell you a little bit about how werewolves find their mates." He whispered conspiratorially and watched as I downed the drink he had given me.

"Alright, tell me." Was my only reply before he started in on a long tale about a werewolf he once knew a long time ago.

"So this werewolf, let's just call him Scott since that's what I called him, well he found this lovely girl in London. They slowly fell in love but he was holding himself back, so his inner wolf decided to take over. The girl was terrified, always ran away when the wolf came out. So the wolf left Scott a message, and this message was a simple few words 'Our Mate', then Scott did some research in a few of the local Colleges about wolves and of course found out about how wolves mate. You do understand how wolves mate, yes? Well werewolves are only slightly different, they find the one person who will carry on the werewolf line. Werewolves, you see, aren't just made. They can be born but most of the time they babies don't make it to full term and neither do their mothers. They die unfortunately. That's why werewolves mostly don't know about life mating and that it's possible to birth werewolves, since these born werewolves are so few and far between and even when they are born and survive the birthing process they mostly don't live past the age of about 13 since that's when puberty starts and also when they mostly become out of control. They'll hunt down innocents and kill them, which is when the Shadowhunters step in and put them down like the mangy mutts they think they are. But sometimes, if the circumstance is right, the child will live into adulthood and get control over their murderess streak. Anyway back to Scott, he found his life mate and mated with her, she became pregnant with a werewolf baby and lived to tell the tale. She gave birth to the first recorded born werewolf, and he was so beautiful. A true cherub indeed! And he lived into adulthood, since he had his father AND mother to guide him through the troublesome years. Now he did kill, but when he did he made sure it was murderers and the like so that way he could find some justice in it. But basically that's all, you've just found your life mate. This seems so sudden doesn't it? But most things like this are always sudden. Now I suggest taking your time, get to know her a little better before you strap her down to a bed and have her pop out pups like no one's business." He chuckled and sipped his drink while absentmindedly stroking the fur of the cat purring away in his lap. "What's this girls name?"

"Silver. Her name's Silver." I sighed and looked down at my empty glass. Now it all seemed to make sense. Why I was so attracted to her so suddenly and why I felt the urge to do such awfully sexual things to her.

"Now isn't that a barrel of laughs! Silver huh? Interesting, I knew a witch who had a daughter named Silver. But she and her husband died in this awful car crash. Truly sad, they left their 16 year old daughter with a little baby to take care of." He sighed and stood up. "Well if that's all you can leave $250 down on the coffee table on your way out." He smiled and walked out of the room. I placed the folded up bills onto the coffee table in question and stood up. Perplexed by the other little piece of information he had given to me I left, walking down to my truck. A witch had a baby named Silver and then years later died in a car crash? No witch would ever die in such a mundane accident such as that, unless it was staged. But why had he told me about that? What did that have to do with my Silver? Unless Silver was the child in question, which would explain the lack of parents. But then Silver was also a witch, or at least a half witch. How strange. I got into my truck and started it up, pulling out from my parking space and starting off down the road.

The radio started up soon after when I touched the power button, the song was some instrumental version of an old Guns and Roses song done by another band that I had never heard of. 'Sweet Child of Mine' was an amazing song and made me laugh slightly because of course this would start to play after the strange conversation I'd had with Magnus. I drove home and parked my car in the alley then went inside to take a shower and then cook something to Magnus had said continued to play in my head, which continued to play until I drowned it out with the beating and humming of the shower and then the sizzling of eggs in a skillet. Eventually it stopped when I went to bed, even if the thought of it all haunted my dreams. All I kept saying was 'Silver is my Life Mate' over and over in my head and in my dreams until there was nothing but feelings of her.


	7. Chapter 7

**I OWN NOTHING! ALL RIGHTS RESERVED TO CASSANDRA CLARE!**

**A/N: Yay for Chapter 7! 3 Thank you all for continually reading this story, and thank you as well for the feedback! Keep that coming, please! Now I would really like to thank eyeofthekitsune365 for following this story from the beginning and also for just being really awesome and concerned for my health. Just so everyone is aware I'm doing better, my wrist is still messed up but I can type so no worries! Remember to review (with a big explanation as to why you like/dislike this story) as well as favorite and follow! Love you all! ~ Iris**

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_Monster Chapter 7:_

Silver's POV:

I was overly tired yet again after a long day of taking care of Emma, but my day was far from over. Emma was sitting and watching TV while I sat and drank hot chocolate, my cell phone in my free hand. After a while my phone started buzzing and then the robotic voice informed me that it was Luke. I frowned and quickly answered it. "Hello?" I said, my voice shaking slightly.

"Hey it's me… We need to talk. Can you stop by after dropping Emma off at school on Monday? We'll go out for coffee. I'm sorry about the other day… You know what, this can't wait. Can we get together today? It's only… 3 pm." He sounded desperate, which saddened me.

"Yeah sure. I'll drop Emma off at a friend's house so she can play." I frowned and thought of someone who would be able to take care of Emma. "I'll meet you at your store at about 4 okay?" We agreed on the time and hung up. I got Emma ready for her last minute play date with some little girl in her class. She insisted she was old enough to not hold my hand as we walked to this girl's home.

After that I left to meet up with Luke, taking the bus this time instead of the subway since the subway was delayed due to unforeseen work. The bus was crowded but some man gave up his seat for me, after I jammed my white cane into his leg 'accidentally'. The ride was uneventful and I just listened to my iPod the entire ride, focusing on Bastille this time instead of the more 'angry' 'rebellious' artists that were on my iPod. The bus dropped me off up the street from the bookstore and it was a quick walk there. I went inside and stood awkwardly by the counter until Luke came up, his heavy footsteps announcing his presence, to me and took one of my hands. "Hey. Ready to go? We'll go two blocks over to this really nice coffee shop. It comes highly recommended by this teenager I know, or we could just stay here and I could make us a pot of coffee instead…?" His hand was sweaty and he was talking really quickly which suggested he was nervous. I was nervous as well but I hoped it didn't outwardly show, because then that would embarrass the shit out of me.

"No umm… Either is fine really. Is this… Talk… We're going to have something personal and private? Or is it okay that we talk in a most likely crowded coffee shop with lots of people listening in because they have absolutely no lives because they're idiots?" I frowned, he was silent for a while before answering softly.

"It is private… We could… I'll ask if they have a secluded and private place. I don't want to be alone with you." He sighed. Well that stung and made me wonder what I'd done to him that he'd want to NOT be alone with me. Before he couldn't keep his hands off of me, but now he was very distant. And there seemed to be an invisible wall up between us, which I know for a fact I didn't put up. Hopefully he'd explain why he was being distant to me, since I thought we had something very good going. I just nodded in response to him and we were off. The walk to the coffee shop was overly awkward and he chatted endlessly about the weather, which has always been one of those things people talk about when they have nothing else to talk about. I told him over and over that I hoped we got rain, since there was this clichéd thing I loved to do every time it rained. It had all started when I had first seen the _Daredevil_ movie, in this one scene it unexpectedly started to rain (or at least unexpected for Elektra) and Matt took off his glasses and opened his eyes, able to see Electra because of the sound the rain drops made as they hit Elektra. Of course this doesn't actually happen, but I still like to pretend. Emma believes it's true so every time it rains we dance outside in the backyard; I twirl around barefoot in the grass as she does the same.

It's always so much fun so every time I hear there might be rain I plan for a fun time outside with Emma. Luke chuckled softly and pulled me out of the way of a stroller, then took me inside the coffee shop. He whistled softly and escorted me over to a table, the place silent except for his heavy footsteps and his whistling. From this I gathered that this place was empty besides us and whoever was working right now. Luke sat me down and then went up and got two coffees, quickly I interjected and said I wanted English Breakfast tea with five sugars and an ice cube. He chuckled softly and brought it over to me, handing me the cup of tea and sat across from me. "So… We really need to talk about a few things. First off, again, I'm sorry for the way I've been acting. I know it's been really weird so…" He paused for a moment and took a very loud gulp of his drink. "Anyway just listen to me for a little, alright? Don't interject until I'm finished." He sighed and yet again took a gulp of his drink. I sat silently sipping at my own tea, my eyes closed and my head cocked to the side. "I really like you. And there are some… Things that I'm going through right now that make that fact complicated. But really Silver I just wanted to ask if you would… Go out with me. You know be my girlfriend." Yet again the loud gulping of his drink came about, then he paused and took my hand in his. "Silver, will you go out with me?" He whispered, his voice strained.

I didn't know what to really say, since I'd never in my life had a boyfriend. Sure I had kissed ONE boy who was in school with me but it was awkward and since we were both sightless we mostly stumbled around until our lips accidentally collided together. It hadn't been as spectacular as some people's first kisses, and as for anything else I'd never had sex before. Never even been groped by someone, unless you counted on the bus or train when I couldn't get a seat. But for Luke to ask me something like this was pretty funny, he was obviously a lot more experience than I when it came to things like this so I would be the person in this relationship who might be laughed at. Not that I cared much it was just that… I wanted to be with him I was just scared he'd get bored of me and my naivety quickly and throw me away like some useless little doll. I frowned and turned my head away from him, thinking on this more. But then again he didn't seem like that sort of person… He was kind to me and to Emma which was very nice… "Yes." I finally said, squeezing his hand and smiling in his general direction. "Yes I will indeed go out with you if you really want to." He chuckled and squeezed my hand in return.

"Of course I want to or else I'd never ask." I sighed happily and then frowned when my phone buzzed, announcing it was the mother of the girl Emma was having her playdate with. Quickly I answered and listened in stunned silence as the mother informed me that Emma was being rushed to the ER. That she had fallen down the stairs in her home and hit her head. I could feel tears streaming down my face. Oh god this was all my fault, all my fault for not insisting that Emma come with me. What would my parents say if they weren't already dead? I had been selfish, selfish for coming out here alone and giving up my responsibility of Emma to someone else who I barely knew. "What's wrong?!" Luke asked, wiping the tears from my eyes. I didn't say anything, just got up and put my phone away.

"I have to go…" Was my only response before hastily leaving. Outside I rushed past people, trying desperately to make it down the subway steps. I tripped and skidded down them, hurting my ankle. But I didn't let that stop me from continuing on. Just as the subway car was stopping to go up town to where the hospital was I got on, sidestepping a couple who were noisily talking about wedding plans. Wedding plans? How insane, those shouldn't be discussed down in a subway. I scoffed and took a seat, clenching my fists and then lacing my fingers together.

This was all my fault…


End file.
